counseling

Life in this world, and in this country right now, can be very intense, very stressful. Under stress, we often experience some of our oldest, hardest patterns of thinking, feeling and doing - the ones we developed long ago as a way to cope with what was hard then. But what works in childhood rarely works the same way in adulthood. We benefit by becoming gently aware of our stress-induced reactions to life, making conscious choices about how to navigate or respond in a moment, and charting a course toward our own well-being and our own well-lived life.

I work with a few essential ideas in mind. First, that there’s a lot that can shift when we begin a practice of mindfulness. It is simple, grounding, clarifying but not easy, so takes practice. But the practice itself increases the felt sense of ease in both the mind and body. So the practice itself is valuable.

Second, that our bodies talk to us constantly but we’re habituated to only listen to thoughts. Thoughts are elusive and under the influence of so many forces, some quite questionable. We learn to notice thinking but really listen to the body. That’s where your most trusted advisor has been all along.

Third, that we are deserving of compassion. That our own compassion can be directed inward and that act, while often quite novel and even awkward at first, is profoundly healing. In fact, we learn to extend this practice inward toward our whole life story.

Last, practice, practice practice, practice. Everything is practice. So extend some grace and welcome your whole experience as if you’d invited it. Everything, everything, no matter how challenging, is an opportunity to practice being with ourselves in a gentler, more workable way. You may think that being gentle with yourself is the last thing you need, but I ask: has being hard on yourself brought you closer to a life of joy and meaning?

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I work with individuals, couples, families and groups employing the same basic principles but responsive to the needs in front of me. The vast majority of my clients have been in the span between and including adolescents and elders. When working with children younger than 13, I require the work be with the whole family.

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On non-discrimination: Each of us is equally worthy of all available compassion. I do not discriminate based on any possible intersection of identity or ability or belief. I am made richer by coming to know and care for all sorts of people and endeavor for a safe, welcoming and inclusive environment in each encounter. I believe this work makes the heart bigger and more open, not just for me but for clients as well. And since this world needs big, open hearts, I will work for free with anyone who comes to heal themselves of their own racism, hatred, prejudice or bias.